If I Should Die Before I Wake
by saccharine snow
Summary: Bakura isn't afraid of nightmares. But he didn't count on the nightmares from escaping his thoughts. Shounen ai.


(A/N: Alright, out of the five fics that I'm posting today, this one is hands down my favorite. So everyone else better like it too!)

Disclaimer: Not mine, simple as that.

Warnings: Some swearing... and I guess that's it.

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Prologue

I don't know all that much about dreams. They're what happens in your mind while you're asleep. That's about it. Funny that I've lived for five thousand years and that's all I've been able to figure out.

Another thing I don't understand is why everyone seems to get so worked up over them. Some say that maybe they're telling the future or maybe they can tell me more about myself. In my opinion, it's crap. I believe in magic, of course, because I have access to quite a variety of shadow powers. I'm just saying that I think you can choose your own fate. But then again, there're plenty of foolish mortals who seem to believe in all that predetermined destiny stuff. And even immortals, like in the case of the baka pharaoh.

But what I've really found to scare the crap out of people are the nightmares. Now, you may think I'm just being insensitive and I don't know what it feels like to have a nightmare because I'm just a five thousand-year-old spirit of a tomb robber, who is most likely the cause of the nightmares rather than the recipient. But I can tell you that I _do_ still dream and I _do_ have nightmares. Quite frequently, actually. But for me, I guess it's just not as bothersome as it is for everyone else. I figure, okay, so I got decapitated or I fell off the edge of a building to my death. Or the scariest of all: going on a date with Anzu. Now _that's_ a nightmare!

But no matter what kind of disturbing scenario my ingenious mind can come up with night after night, I don't really think much of it past the time I wake up in the morning. I don't care if I died in my dream, because I'm not dead now. Well…technically I am…but you get the point. To be honest, by the time I wake up, I'm much more concerned about if Ryou has started breakfast or not.

Speaking of Ryou, I know for a fact that he has trouble dealing with nightmares. As far as I can tell, he seems to have them almost as much as I do; which confuses me further because you'd think if he had them so much, he'd be used to them by now. But apparently not.

A while ago, I was watching TV at two o'clock in the morning, as I so frequently do when I'm bored and don't feel like going to bed. I was seated comfortably in the cushions of the living room couch as I flipped through the channels, not really paying all that much attention to what was on any of them but I didn't really care because it was giving me something to do. Ryou was on the couch too, curled up as tight as physically possible in a little ball on the end cushion. I honestly don't know why he sleeps like that. If I were him, I would have at least stretched out a little. And he could have too, since the couch is big enough to fit at least five people if you sit ass to ass, and I don't exactly take up very much space.

Anyway, Ryou had been awake a few hours ago, and we'd been watching some sort of horror movie. I don't really remember what it was about, since all those kinds of movies begin to blend together after a while. To be honest, I wasn't really concentrating on the movie. The plotlines are always pretty much the same thing and the foolish mortals are all so stupid that they deserve to get killed anyway. And then there's yet another thing I can't figure out: how could anyone get scared from something that isn't real? And something that isn't even all that scary, for that matter. But I guess when you've seen all the people in your village get melted (yes melted) in front of your eyes when you were just a child, fake blood and masked psychopaths don't exactly leave much of an impression on you.

But the movie was over now, Ryou having drifted off just as the credits had started to roll. That was around one-thirty or so, which means I had been channel surfing through infomercials and static for thirty minutes. Not that infomercials are so bad; it's just a matter of finding the right one. I don't really have much interest in them anymore, though, because Ryou hadn't been too happy after Malik and I ordered a steak knife set with a stolen credit card and then tried to assassinate the pharaoh. Let me tell you, it isn't fun listening to Ryou give you a two hour lecture on why I shouldn't steal or try to kill people. Now I know why Ryou doesn't own any credit cards.

I flipped through the cycle of channels for what must have been the thousandth time when I decided to give up and finally go to sleep. Plus, one of the channels had been advertising a hair removal product, and it was just too tempting to imagine all the possible things I could do with something like that in my possession. I bet the pharaoh wouldn't look so high and mighty with no hair. Or maybe a hairless Kaiba would be more amusing. Heh.

But there was no way I would be able to get the stuff because Ryou would never give me the money, especially if he figured out what I planned to do with it (which I know he could, because Ryou seems to have a knack for seeing through my devious plans). Of course, it's not like I couldn't have stolen it, but I didn't catch the name of the manufacturer and I didn't exactly feel like making the effort to find out, especially when fire can be just as effective in the process of hair removal; and much more interesting. So instead of wasting my time staring at something that I wasn't going to get anyway, I flipped off the TV and stretched out my back, which had become quite stiff from sitting in the same position for the past three and a half hours.

I waited for a minute to let my eyes adjust themselves to the lack of light. When I was fully able to make out the faint outlines of the living room furniture and the doorways, I started to head towards my room. But I hadn't taken any more than a few steps when I heard a soft whimpering from behind me.

I instantly knew it was Ryou. Who else would it be? When I turned around, I noticed that he wasn't curled up as much as he had been five minutes ago. But I would have actually preferred him that way, since now he was tossing back and forth in his little space on the couch while mumbling something incoherently. But even though I didn't know what he was saying, I could tell that he was distressed by the way he was whining in that helpless tone of voice that could make anyone feel sorry for him.

I figured that he was having a nightmare. Like I said, he had them almost as much as I did. I knew this because whenever I wake up in the middle of the night, I can usually hear his soft, muffled cries coming from inside his room. I never know what he's having nightmares about, though. I never bothered to ask. It's not that I don't care; I just have other things on my mind. Well, actually, I don't really care all that much, but Ryou doesn't tell me what he's dreaming about. Therefore, it's none of my business. If Ryou really wanted me to know, he could just tell me…after making sure I was actually listening, of course.

But for some reason, that night I decided to wake him up. I had never felt the need to do that in the past, so I have to admit that I surprised myself. Maybe it was the actual sight of him in the midst of his bad dreams that made me want to do it. All the other times, he had always been in his bedroom and I in mine. I could only hear his soft whimpers that eventually faded as I laid down and drifted back into unconsciousness. He seemed so much farther away. But now I was standing directly over him, watching as he struggled in the depths of his mind. He looked so helpless and vulnerable as he restlessly turned from one side to the other, his eyebrows creased and his eyes tightly shut. He must have been sweating too, because his forehead was slightly damp and a few strands of his snowy white hair were clinging tightly to his skin. But none of that was as bad as the tiny cries that were coming from his mouth, which was pulled down in a tight frown.

I just couldn't take it anymore, so I reached down and roughly nudged his shoulder. I really don't know why it was bothering me so badly, but I didn't feel like taking the time to figure it out. I needed to stop him from making that helpless, strangled mewing or else I was going to go insane, not to mention that I was very tired by now and desperately wanted sleep.

Being the extremely light sleeper that he was, Ryou instantly responded to my touch and slowly opened his large, chocolate brown eyes. He stared at me for a second, seeming puzzled about what was going on at the moment.

"Ba…Bakura?" he said finally in such a tiny voice that I had barely heard him.

I didn't exactly answer his question, since I wanted mine answered first. Besides, I knew he knew it was me, so there was no point in stating the obvious.

"Nightmare?" I asked simply, though I already had an expectation for his answer. What I didn't count on, though, was that as soon as I had asked the question, his eyes slowly began to well up with tears. They spilled over onto his pale cheeks, creating two little streams that ran down his face and past his lip, which had now begun to quiver.

The only words that ran through my mind at that moment were: Oh, crap.

I honestly hadn't said the right thing, considering that Ryou had begun crying only seconds after I spoke. But I didn't know what I had done wrong. It was a simple question. Did you have a nightmare, yes or no?

But apparently my question wasn't as appropriate as I had thought considering Ryou's reaction to it. I shifted restlessly from one foot to the other, hoping that he would be able to calm himself down as soon as possible and just tell me what was wrong so I could go to bed. I really wasn't being insensitive. I was just really fucking tired. And I didn't think I'd make the situation any better if I just fell over from sheer exhaustion while he was sitting right there with tears streaming down his face.

Lucky for me, he closed his eyes and nodded his head slowly. He still wasn't speaking, but hey, it was a start. After a minute or so, he had finally pulled himself together and began to explain the circumstances of his distress.

"I…I had a bad dream," he said in between sniffles.

Yes, yes, I had established this fact already, though I decided not to mention it. Because I'm not insensitive, remember?

"I dreamt…that there was a murderer in Domino, and he was killing all of my friends," he continued. Much to my liking, he had already stopped crying. I guess the initial shock that nightmares seem to have on people had already worn off. "Yuugi-kun, Honda-kun, Jounouchi-kun, and Anzu-chan. The killer killed all of them. It was so horrible. They were all stabbed and cut open so that I could see their insides. There was just so much blood and their eyes were all still open. The looks on their faces…it was just so horrible."

I had to use all my strength to keep myself from laughing maniacally. I was truly thankful that the room was so dark, because my face was probably contorted in a horribly messed up expression. And I bet Ryou wasn't able to see it considering that both the darkness and his tears were a significant hindrance on his vision. To be perfectly honest, I would have loved to have a dream like that. And I definitely took notice of the fact that Ryou hadn't mentioned either me or Malik on the list of victims. I had to say, the killer had good taste.

I tried to think of some sort of response, but couldn't think of anything for the life of me. I didn't see why the midget, spike-head, dumbass, and friendship-freak were worth crying over, so I didn't have much to say as far as condolences went.

"You don't have to cry about it," I offered finally. That really didn't come out the way I wanted it to. I hadn't said it meanly, but the words still seemed to carry some feeling of annoyance. Ryou seemed to pick up on this too, because he lifted his head and stared at me quizzically with those large, innocent eyes of his.

"What?"

Okay, now I had to attempt to explain myself. But what was I supposed to say? _"Oh, well your friends are stupid worthless pieces of shit anyway, so crying over them is just plain pointless. If I were you, I'd be doing a victory dance on their graves."_

For some reason, I didn't think that would go over very well with Ryou. And no matter how much I hated those insufferable idiots he called "friends," I had to put up with them unless I felt like eating cold leftovers out of the refrigerator from now on. Because that's exactly what would happen if I decided that any one of them should meet with and unfortunate "accident" one day. Ryou would attempt to kick me out of the apartment, but we both know that I wouldn't exactly go very willingly. So he would just refuse to feed me, and I have yet to figure out how to work any of those damned kitchen appliances. Besides, Ryou has already banned me from the use of the oven, microwave, toaster, and a few other things I can't remember. Not that cold food wouldn't be worth the tortuous, bloody demise of any one of them, but I'd definitely miss the hot food, and I'm sure Ryou would never speak to me again, which would bother me also. I could always go live with Malik, where there'd be plenty of heated meals and human contact, but Isis barely lets me set foot in their apartment. I highly doubt that she'd agree to let me stay there for any extended period of time.

So instead of saying my initial thoughts, I decided to restate my previous statement, this time in the form of a question.

"Why do you need to cry?"

Ryou still seemed shocked with my unexpected questions and answers, because he kept giving me that confused look where he tipped his head to the side and slightly raised one of his eyebrows higher than the other one.

"What do you mean, Bakura?" he asked. At least he had stopped crying and showed no intentions of starting up again. That was satisfying enough for me, and I hoped that it would last. "It was really scary…I…"

"They're not really dead, are they?" I interrupted.

"Well, no…" he answered slowly.

"Then there's no need to cry about it," I said. I really hoped that I could wrap this up soon so I could go to sleep. "It was just a nightmare. That's it. It's not real, and dreams don't come to life."

I watched as Ryou's expression went blank and he blinked at me a few times. Finally, his face relaxed and his mouth curved into a small smile.

"I guess you're right," he said. He definitely seemed content with my answer. "Thanks."

With that said, Ryou slowly stood up from the couch and made his way to his bedroom. I followed to my own room soon after, where I was more than happy to throw myself on the soft mattress, since I was in desperate need of some sleep.

I had never seen Ryou cry before that night, but I didn't really think too much about it. I assumed that the nightmare came from that horror movie that we had watched, and one of the killing sequences had seeped into his subconscious. And I guess he hadn't even meant to cry; the nightmare just shook him up. A perfect example of how nightmares seem to have the power to scare the crap out of people. And when he realized that he was back in reality and none of it had actually happened, he realized that it had been foolish to cry, and that's why he was able to stop so quickly. At least that's what I think, because I know that Ryou isn't as weak as he may seem and he doesn't just cry for no reason; not like the pharaoh's little brat, who would probably start bawling if he stepped on a bug.

It's kind of ironic, thinking back on that night. In my effort to calm Ryou down, I had not only succeeded in making him feel better, but I had given him some very interesting information. I had told him that nightmares weren't real, and that dreams don't come to life. And back then, I truly believed what I had said.

But now I know better.

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(A/N: Woohoo, so what did ya think? Good? Bad? MORE NOW? Feedback is good, people! VEERY good.

Oh, on a side note, only the prologue is in Bakura's POV, the rest will have a narrator. Just to let everyone know so no one is confused when I post the next chappie.

Until next time!

And for anyone who cares, I've also posted four other YGO fics today if you wanna check them out!)


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